Wednesday, November 11, 2009

balloons still make me smile


so i am officially surrendering to 2009. i know it is a bit early, but i feel like i have no choice. i fought the good fight, but i think it is going to win, so instead of continuing to fight i will conserve my strength for 2010. i won't go into the ins and outs of it, but generally things have been kinda sucky and i haven't felt like myself in months. and that's sucky because i usually like myself, but this person-- me no likey AT ALL. i didn't celebrate my birthday. i didn't feel like it. so there. take that 2009. i miss my friends. "hi friends!" i miss you guys. oh, and the thing about me and being down in the dumps is i don't like being down in the dumps. i spent lots of years in them there dumps and i didn't much like it there (the food is crap and the accommodations crap, too!). then i start feeling guilty for being down in the dumps. i beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself and for not being just generally happy, because a bad year for me is still a pretty darn good year for most. so then it becomes this nasty inner dialogue myself vs. myself and as you can see if myself wins then myself loses. i think they call that a lose lose situation. for now, i will carry on. i will try not to be completely erased by this big bowl of yuck, but please, pardon me if i have been a bad blogger, bad friend, bad wife, bad sister, daughter, partner, customer, e-mailer, bill payer, call returner, polaroider . . . you get the point.

on a lighter note, balloons still make me smile.

29 comments:

vanessa joie said...

Here's to a brighter 2010

chelsea said...

sending a big, big hug your way, jen!

secretheart said...

I'm totally with you! May 2010 be better! ♥

deborah said...

hugs!
let me repeat, you are not a bad anything! bring on 2010!

sara said...

i hope your 2010 is a good one then :)
smile!
xx

Cassandra Marie said...

Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that I'm having a pretty little giveaway on my blog... just in case you wanted to enter!

xo
Cassie

http://moonfaceon.blogspot.com/2009/11/first-giveaway.html

jen said...

sorry you're not feeling like yourself. i'm sure you will be back soon! hang in there! xoxo can't wait to see what 2010 has in store for you.

Anitra said...

Youre still an inspiration to me. Your post so succinctly put into words how i have felt on a regular basis this year, and it was of great comfort to read. You write as beautifully as you photograph. x

Erin @ SYL: Slipcover Your Life said...

Here's to brighter beginings in 2010!

Ashley Yazzie said...

Take to find your belly laugh. Once the belly laugh returns, all comes together!

And those balloons are superb!

g and h said...

sometimes a case of the blahs brings out a really well written piece...and that's surely the case here. hang in there, i haven't had a drink in a looooong time and come 2010 i'm going to need one! we'll plan an outing with the ladies to celebrate a fresh, new year!

xo
g

Saltina said...

You can take a polaroid like no other.

slowrider said...

Hey, I'll kick 2009's ass for you if you want......just lemme know.....
I also know a guy who will kill 2009 for a real good price if you want that instead.....

Lola Is Beauty said...

I'd happily scrap the rest of 2009, just to get it out of the way.

2010 is going to be a better year for yourself (and yourself)...

Jen said...

Oh jen...I would hug the life out of you right now if I could. not that hard, but the bad stuff right out of you.

east side bride said...

<3

Emilee Sutherland said...

Hears to 2010! If it helps any, I always love coming to your blog for inspiration and even on occasion your blog has made me smile on a "down in the dumps" day.

Cheryl Gerbera said...

2010 will be a much better and brighter year! hugs hugs..


http://sourcherryandcurlchocolate.blogspot.com/

chess said...

Let’s just hope and pray that in the coming year/s is that, there will be a lot of great opportunities and a lot of blessings to come in our way.

jen a said...

xoox - love you girl...

alexandria said...

Balloons are the best. I sincerely hope your funk goes away and you can feel so much better. I always enjoy what you bring to your blog.

Miss B said...

Ah, yes -- it's a vicious and perfect little cycle, that. I am always amazed, when I get caught in those endless downward spiralings, just how much self-loathing one can manage to cram into an average day. Shocking.

I hope your world is fizzy and balloon-filled soon, and for all of the coming year.

Sarah Brett said...

You're not alone! I've heard generally from friends and fam recently it's a rubbish time, something about saturn and the moon aligning. Bliss for the future!

MIss B said...

Oh Miss Jen, Happy Belated Birthday and the world is a shinier place because you are in it. It's okay not to be peppy all the time but you have inspired us all a bunch and made us laugh so there.

xo,

Miss B.

P.S. Congrats on the launch of your new collection!

shanon said...

Hi there. I hope you are well. I don't know what happened, but I just now realized that I hadn't been getting updates from your blog. Now I am remembering how much I love and admire your work. Seeing it pushes me, makes me fall in love, and does a number of other wondrous things. So, I hope you are well. I really really do.

small graces said...

I can't believe how exactly I know how you felt when you wrote this. Only now to know there is another person out there feeling perhaps the same way, makes me sad. HOPE for a new year, for you and me. See you there.

amy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Stop snoring said...

I hope and wish that everything will turn out fine for this year. Let’s bring on 2010 a great one. As what you have said, balloons makes you smile. So whenever you feel blue, just look for the balloons.

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