at the beach

i was on a nordstrom photshoot at the beach yesterday with this amazing photographer. it makes me happy to be around other creative people . . . and getting paid for it isn't so bad, either. ah ha. getting paid. another thing i can add to the list of things that make me happy. and by the way, thanks for all of the great comments. it's nice to know that we are all willing to take time and really think about what makes us happy. ok. short but sweet today as we are heading back to the beach this morning.

ahhhhhhhhh.

whew. i cannot tell you how happy i am to put 2009 behind me. oh dear, that one was kind of a doozy. but enough looking back. i am going to look forward now and i tell ya, it's pretty darn liberating. i really want to focus on being happy in 2010. i know, i know, how freakin' overplayed is that one? but really, i actually sat and thought about it. about what makes me happy. i even started a list. i mean there is the obvious stuff like, sitting poolside at the parker, eating chocolate without gaining an ounce and shopping, ahhhhh shopping. but then, when i really thought about it, it turned out there were lots of little things that made me happy. and some of them were things you would never expect. i say that because a lot of them were things i would never expect and i figure if i wouldn't expect them, then you certainly wouldn't. and so i present you with a list of examples taken directly out of my new journal.

* being able to walk barefoot on the floor without getting cat hair, cat litter, my hair, misc. shrapnel, etc on my feet.
* wearing black eye liner - - it really does make me feel prettier.
* moisturizing - boooring, but i actually feel the happiness as i do it. it's like i know i am doing something good for myself at that moment. simple and silly, but true
* doing the right thing
* finishing what i start
* sunlight - - in my room, on my face, etc.
* taking photos - -believe it or not, sometimes i forget how genuinely happy that makes me.
* sleeping on cleen sheets
* eating from the garden - -this sounds so hipster bougie, but i gotta tell you, when i actually do eat from the garden i genuinely feel like i am better than you.
* freshly painted fingernails (and toenails, too)
* filing --weird, i know. don't get me started. i just spent an hour entering deposits and withdrawals into quicken and it's the happiest i've been all week.

the list goes on, but you get my drift. what i realized is that a lot of things i always assumed make me unhappy, actually make me happy. i avoid cleaning and organizing like it is the plague and yet, it makes me happy when i do it. i have always assumed that it is much more pleasurable to fall asleep with my makeup on and then show up for work the next day with that day old eyeliner and some fresh lip gloss (not cute), but as it turns out spending 10 extra minutes before bed and the same in the morning makes me feel better. oh and then the little things that are forgotten like letting the sunlight hit my face or painting my nails. i mean, c'mon, no wonder i have been so damn depressed. i had just lost track of what makes me happy. ok, so now i have no excuse. i have my list (and it's growing all of the time). happiness here i come. oh, and i was just wondering . . . what makes you happy? maybe i've missed something.

ps. if you say something like my baby's smile or feeding the poor, i will delete it!

it's almost 2010

and i couldn't be happier. and that's not to say that 2009 had some high points. it did, and i am grateful for them. especially this. but it had some pretty low, lows. yuckville, usa. thanks for sticking with me. as a fellow blog reader i know how discouraging (and annoying) it can be to go to a blog and see the same freakin post for weeks on end and then when a new post comes it is sooooooo depressing. i am really excited about getting back into blogging on a regular basis. still no polaroid to speak of, but i have my new friend the iphone, and another new app - shake it photo (evidence above). wishing you a very happy new year. here's to an amazing 2010 for all of us!

ps. i put a few more shake it photos here.

clearly

clearly i am taking some time off from blogging. i am out of polaroid. yuck! depressing. boo hoo. weep weep. maybe a fairy princess will give me some for christmas. fingers crossed. if not, i will be forced to use the polaroid filter in photobag on my i phone (photo example above). oh, and running a small empire takes a lot of work. jamie and i always joke about how innocent the decision was. we'll just make some headbands and sell them online so our friends can buy them. what were we thinking? who knows, but it has been amazing and stressful and creative and rewarding and exhausting. we are super excited for 2010 and i am exited personally as well. i just know it's gonna be a good year.


ps. we are offering $20 off of any ban.do line purchase until midnight. type hooray in the coupon code at checkout. oh, and we just launched our new bridal as well.

slipped my mind

whilst caught up in a big ole case of the oh-poor-mes i forgot to share some good news. we launched our new heart line. it's pretty darn cute, if i don't say so myself. hope you agree. oh, and tell all your friends. hey, tell strangers for that matter.

ps. i can't take credit for these polaroids. given props to my girl chloe.

very quietly

first. thank you so much for all of your sweet emails and comments. it's so nice to know i am not alone, especially when it often times feels like i am. apparently, lots of us have yucky stuff going on. i'm not the only one (yes, i have a touch of the "i think the world revolves around me" syndrome . . . actually it may be more than a touch)

oh, and i very quietly opened my shop today.
testing the waters.
let me know what you think.
are there any photos here that you think i need to add?

ps. a fun saturday with this little lady for her ysl project inspired me to do it.

balloons still make me smile

so i am officially surrendering to 2009. i know it is a bit early, but i feel like i have no choice. i fought the good fight, but i think it is going to win, so instead of continuing to fight i will conserve my strength for 2010. i won't go into the ins and outs of it, but generally things have been kinda sucky and i haven't felt like myself in months. and that's sucky because i usually like myself, but this person-- me no likey AT ALL. i didn't celebrate my birthday. i didn't feel like it. so there. take that 2009. i miss my friends. "hi friends!" i miss you guys. oh, and the thing about me and being down in the dumps is i don't like being down in the dumps. i spent lots of years in them there dumps and i didn't much like it there (the food is crap and the accommodations crap, too!). then i start feeling guilty for being down in the dumps. i beat myself up for feeling sorry for myself and for not being just generally happy, because a bad year for me is still a pretty darn good year for most. so then it becomes this nasty inner dialogue myself vs. myself and as you can see if myself wins then myself loses. i think they call that a lose lose situation. for now, i will carry on. i will try not to be completely erased by this big bowl of yuck, but please, pardon me if i have been a bad blogger, bad friend, bad wife, bad sister, daughter, partner, customer, e-mailer, bill payer, call returner, polaroider . . . you get the point.

on a lighter note, balloons still make me smile.