ahhhhhhhhh.

whew. i cannot tell you how happy i am to put 2009 behind me. oh dear, that one was kind of a doozy. but enough looking back. i am going to look forward now and i tell ya, it's pretty darn liberating. i really want to focus on being happy in 2010. i know, i know, how freakin' overplayed is that one? but really, i actually sat and thought about it. about what makes me happy. i even started a list. i mean there is the obvious stuff like, sitting poolside at the parker, eating chocolate without gaining an ounce and shopping, ahhhhh shopping. but then, when i really thought about it, it turned out there were lots of little things that made me happy. and some of them were things you would never expect. i say that because a lot of them were things i would never expect and i figure if i wouldn't expect them, then you certainly wouldn't. and so i present you with a list of examples taken directly out of my new journal.

* being able to walk barefoot on the floor without getting cat hair, cat litter, my hair, misc. shrapnel, etc on my feet.
* wearing black eye liner - - it really does make me feel prettier.
* moisturizing - boooring, but i actually feel the happiness as i do it. it's like i know i am doing something good for myself at that moment. simple and silly, but true
* doing the right thing
* finishing what i start
* sunlight - - in my room, on my face, etc.
* taking photos - -believe it or not, sometimes i forget how genuinely happy that makes me.
* sleeping on cleen sheets
* eating from the garden - -this sounds so hipster bougie, but i gotta tell you, when i actually do eat from the garden i genuinely feel like i am better than you.
* freshly painted fingernails (and toenails, too)
* filing --weird, i know. don't get me started. i just spent an hour entering deposits and withdrawals into quicken and it's the happiest i've been all week.

the list goes on, but you get my drift. what i realized is that a lot of things i always assumed make me unhappy, actually make me happy. i avoid cleaning and organizing like it is the plague and yet, it makes me happy when i do it. i have always assumed that it is much more pleasurable to fall asleep with my makeup on and then show up for work the next day with that day old eyeliner and some fresh lip gloss (not cute), but as it turns out spending 10 extra minutes before bed and the same in the morning makes me feel better. oh and then the little things that are forgotten like letting the sunlight hit my face or painting my nails. i mean, c'mon, no wonder i have been so damn depressed. i had just lost track of what makes me happy. ok, so now i have no excuse. i have my list (and it's growing all of the time). happiness here i come. oh, and i was just wondering . . . what makes you happy? maybe i've missed something.

ps. if you say something like my baby's smile or feeding the poor, i will delete it!